Resilience: First Impressions

First impressions. I’d only spoken briefly on the telephone with two potential clients. Just enough to begin thinking about who they were and what they faced. Each was coping in a different way and under different circumstances. Michael had been out of work for eight months. He had worked in finance through a long and productive work life. His job of many years had ended three years before, and almost immediately he’d located contract work- a high profile project that had claimed all his time and effort- but that had recently ended, two years past its originally scheduled end-date.

These had been Michael’s good times. He now reminisced upon productive work hours spent, and talked stoically about chair refinishing in his basement.

Jean, on the other hand, anticipated downsizing within the next months, from the company in which she’d worked since graduating college. She, like Michael, was in her mid-50’s. She’d introduced herself by saying, “any money I’m going to make in my life, I’ve already made;” but the comment’s potentially harsh sting was negated with a segue to the Master’s in teaching she was hoping to get, sometime in the next few years.

Each had spent a productive work-life in a single organization, and knew him/her self to be a competent professional. But Michael, who’d also had the experience of a post-employment “bridge” job, now foresaw the future as bleak- its pain heightened through recounting losses and grieving unrecognized loyalty and dedication. Like Jean, Michael had an avocation in his woodwork; but for Michael, it was used to quell boredom, whereas for Jean, the hope of a Masters degree in teaching twinkled with possibility.

The differences in resilience between Michael and Jean were as vivid as night and day, though the few facts I knew were close enough. I knew nothing of how they’d grown up, of life histories, social supports, or economic resources. I knew only what they’d told me in two phone calls lasting a few minutes. What had been so radically different in the ways they’d come across?

Replaying the conversations in my mind, I pictured two very distinct lines with very different slope. Michael’s, tinged with sadness, conveyed a negative slope, picking up speed in its descent, as if heightened by panic. Jean’s line had also been negative, but with upticks suggesting changes of personal orientation, despite the generally unpleasant situation under which she’d contacted me. Jean’s line spoke volumes: I’ve got it in me to get through this and to thrive. Her capabilities under extreme stress had already begun to shine through. Work with Michael would be much more challenging as significant strengths were once again affirmed against the dread he feared, tomorrow.